Happy 1st Birthday Lucy!

Wow - one year old! I can't even believe it Lucy bug. In many ways it seems like you've been with us forever and in other ways like you just got here. I'm so proud of you beautiful girl and I'm so excited it's your first birthday. This week you've been kind of sick and I think most of it is from those darn toothens that are trying to break through. But even when you don't feel great you are still such a sweet, happy girl. We're working and working on crawling and standing and you're doing super. You are saying more words - a bug, a book, gog (dog). Yesterday we had your big party a day early so everyone could be there. It was at grandma's and you had so many people who love you there. Pink and white polka dots were everywhere and you had so much fun! I love you princess and I'm so amazed by what you have accomplished this year. Love you bug, love mommy.

party time!

your new play set from grandma and grandpa

party girl (with great-great aunt Beth)

princess Lucy



a cool new wagon - we need a play date to use the other seat


at the end of the fun party grandpa read you all of your cards

Just some of your guests...

uncle Coleman & Calah


Alisa & Crosby (D was inside) - the two of you munchkins look really happy

Lacey & Kylee (the best little birthday helper)

Nick & Megan

uncle Brad & aunt Julie


Abby & uncle Clint


Haylie, Aspen, Meg

It was a great party and thanks so much to those of you who were able to come and celebrate this special birthday!

Last Year

Last year at this time I was scared. My precious baby girl had been inside of me for over six months but I hadn't felt her once. I bonded with Lucy the morning I found out I was pregnant. Even though I had to take three pregnancy tests I knew I was pregnant and even then I kind of knew I was having a girl. I know now I was meant to get pregnant when I did, even though it wasn't exactly planned, it was supposed to happen when it did. Initially Blake and I were nervous but that was just general "how in the world are WE going to be parents" type of nervousness. A few months into the pregnancy when we found out there were some issues a whole new worry set in. But driving home each day from work I would talk to Lucy and keep encouraging her to keep going. She had to do a lot more work than what is expected of most babies and she did so well.

The day I was admitted to the hospital was after one of our weekly ultrasounds. I was prepared to drive to LDS as often as possible for as many ultrasounds as needed as long as my baby girl could stay safe in me. But I was admitted sooner than we thought and I kind of knew when I was admitted she'd be here soon. Two days in the hospital not knowing what would happen sucked. I had to wear a monitor on my stomach so they could watch Lucy's heartbeat. Every time it was repositioned I'd ask the nurse to turn down the volume. I was so afraid something would happen and when the volume was up I couldn't concentrate on anything but the sound. I remember the 2nd night in the hospital. In the middle of the night Lucy's heart had a desat and they rushed in and hooked me up to a monitor. It took only a minute or so to find her heart beat but it felt like hours. Shortly after that my doctor came in and said everyone involved thought it was best to plan the c-section for the next day. I groaned and cried to her but she explained it so well that Lucy will grow and do better in the garden here (the NICU) than the one she was in now. It's hard to hear that your own body is not helping your baby thrive but it made sense to me and I know it wasn't my fault that my body wasn't helping her.

The Friday Lucy was born most of my friends and family saw me at the hospital. Some people may not like a lot of people around them before such a big, scary event but it brought me such comfort. My uncle Jon gave me a blessing and then offered to be in the operating room with us. The c-section wasn't as awful as I imagined. I tried to keep calm and ask Jon and Blake to keep talking to me about anything just to focus. Lucy didn't cry when she came out of me. I saw Blake's eyes when they rushed her to the NICU and he looked so happy and calm. A few minutes later I heard a doctor come back in saying she was okay and breathing and told us her size. Blake and I started crying tears of joy and relief.

Blake and my parents got to see Lucy that night and they all said she was so cute and perfect. I saw her on Saturday once I could make it to the NICU and I was so nervous to see her but when I did she was just as I'd hoped. Red hair, perfect features and a spirit so strong. Her skin was transparent and you could see her working so hard. I was and still am so proud of the strongest person I know.

Lucy spent 79 days in the NICU. She's doing wonderful and amazes me everyday. Every one knows she is still tiny but her personality is so huge it makes up for her petiteness. Lucy has brought a whole new meaning of life to us this past year. I can't even begin to imagine life without her. Everything means so much more, is so much clearer and colorful with Lucy.

Thinking back to a year ago I had so much uncertainty and worry. But now is the time to remember the past and move on to new beginnings with this bug girl! I never knew I would find such joy in making funny noises, reading board books, experimenting with foods, stroller talks, Target runs with my best new shopping partner, morning kisses, quiet snuggles, babbles during the morning drive to grandma's, baby fashion shows, and every other moment we share together.

I'm so grateful to my friends and family for supporting us this past year. I've leaned on people more than I probably could ever repay and I don't promise to stop that anytime soon! I'm also very grateful to the website http://www.babycenter.com/ . They have a preemie parenting board that has helped me so much. The women that I have met and chatted with have calmed me many times and have given me wonderful advice. Fretting over ounces, sitting, rolling, crawling has been put to ease by many posters on that board. Also celebrating the tiniest achievements have been shared on that board. I am so proud of each new accomplishment of Lucy and other preemie moms know how special these moments are. Also, I have to mention that I'm so grateful for Blake. I would not be who I am without his strength and support. He deals with my anxiety and stress the best he can. I'm so happy Lucy has a laid back dad to balance out her nervous nelly mother!

This turned into quite a journal! But this week has been such a time for reflection, emotions ranging from sadness to what we were up against a year ago to happiness and relief for what we have. Other preemie moms from babycenter have said to prepare for this 1st birthday because it is quite emotional. I admit I'm giving Lucy extra squeezes this week and taking in all of her cuteness because I'm so grateful for her and what she has brought to our lives.

lucy's new astrological onesie for Aries fits Lucy to a T: "I'm impulsive and friendly, I will be adventurous, love to rock the boat, daring, self-reliant, outgoing" that's right baby girl!!!

Prayers for Sadie

Our friends Zac and Tiffany Huish got the devastating news earlier this month that their oldest, adorable daughter Sadie has an inoperable cancerous brain tumor. Blake met Zac at work several years ago and we have become good friends. Zac, Tiffany and their girls are the sweetest family ever and we have just felt heartbroken that they are dealing with this. They have created a blog to update everyone on Sadie's condition http://sadiehuish.blogspot.com Last night KSL news did a report on Sadie and the three wishes she has received from the Make a Wish Foundation and their supportive friends and family. Blake and I watched this report last night with tears in our eyes but also with admiration at how strong Zac and T are being in this trying situation. The story is on ksl.com http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=2928282

I know that miracles can happen and we are praying for a miracle for Sadie.

Easter buggy!

We had a fun easter visit at my grandma's. Lucy got a bunny and bubbles from caitlin, a basket the easter bunny left at my mom's with a cute spring outfit, frog, books and treats. The bunny at our house left a play cell phone since Lucy always wants mine, a movie and some other fun toys. It was a great day and she looked darling in her easter garb!

silly girl

VEGAS with BABY!

We left last Wednesday for a trip to Vegas with the fam for Caitlin's 21st birthday. It was a really fun trip and I think the best part was the great weather. I have been craving some warm sun and bright blue skies and the JW Marriott at Summerlin delivered. The hotel is a resort with beautiful grounds and a great pool. We lounged, ate, napped, gambled, swam and lounged some more. Lucy was great and only had freak-outs when she wasn't sitting up at the table with us at restaurants. She's learned a great screeching talent to get every one's attention and has a great arm when it comes to throwing utensils and side-swiping full glasses of water (sorry for the soak mom & dad). Her favorite part of the trip was the pool. We slathered her in sunscreen and put on her shades and a hat and then she went nuts! She splashed and kicked and had no fear. She would have stayed in all day if we let her and I think we're going to have to sign up for a mommy & me swim class this summer.

Caitlin did a really great trip report so click on her blog http://brintonandcaitlin.blogspot.com/ if you are interested in more. We had a really fun time and I'm glad they invited us to tag along. Sometimes trips with families can be - yama hama - but this one was really fun and the only one at fault for causing problems was....you guessed it ME! But everyone deserves a melt down now and then - even if it lasts for multiple hours in a crowded casino!

The night before we came home I decided to put in $30. into a dollar slot machine (wheel of fortune) and within a few minutes I won $500.! I was so excited and Caitlin was mad so I called it a night and went up to celebrate with Blake and Lucy with chocolate and Sprite! We thought we were ending things on a high note but the next morning as we were waiting for the valet to bring us our car they walked in and said our car had been broken into over night. They broke the window and Blake's golf clubs, checkbook, ipod accessories and various other things had been stolen. So we waited about an hour and filled out a report while the hotel staff made us a makeshift plastic window. Poor Lucy had to listen to loud wind for the 6 hour drive home and we had to no ipod. But, things happen and luckily they didn't take our car seat. All in all it was a fun time and best of all we have a little swim fish girl!

we love lounging

outside breakfast - notice my mom's purse behind Lucy to hold her in and Lucy's prelaunch of spoon!

fish girl

exhausted after her swim session

Sabrina, Caitlin & me. Caitlin's friends Nick and Sabrina went too and I love them. They are so much fun and I love that Sabrina and I can hang out and talk. The fun thing about hanging out with 21 year olds is that I got id'd too - which made me feel pretty good after turning depresso 30.

birthday girl!

Lucy splashed so hard! And her baths have turned into splash fests which is funny at first but when you're dressed for the day, not so much.

Us. Blake may or may not have been intoxicated at this point but I'm guessing yes.

Happy St. Pat's...and a creepy bunny too!

I love parades. I haven't been to the 24th of July parade for many years (I always watch it on tv) but we rarely miss the St. Pat's parade. I love parades on tv and this year I tivo'd the Disneyworld Christmas parade and watched it later that night after the day of festivities had ended (I know, lame-o). I don't know why but there's something funny about tons of people sitting on the sidelines watching tons of people, instruments, dogs and cars slowly march down the street. Saturday was chilly but Blake agreed that we had to bundle up the bug and take her to her first St. Pat's parade. Once we got our spot and settled in I didn't think she would last too long. Her little body was toasty warm but her cheeks were red and I didn't think she'd be too interested. But yet again, this little girl proved to be my daughter and L-O-V-E-D the parade. She sat for two full hours watching every second of it. Her favorite things were the Shriners on their little motorbikes and tall greyhound dogs. I'm so happy she enjoyed it so much.

The St. Pat's parade is fun because it's silly and anyone and everyone can be in it. It's a good time and we always laugh. I guess I love parades too because I get a little nostalgic. When I was younger and did Highland dancing I marched with the Salt Lake Scots in many parades. So when I hear the bagpipes it takes me back to that time. The parade also has a lot of Shriners from Freemasonry. My grandpa was involved in Freemasonry and he would always laugh at parades when we saw the Shriners in their "monkey hats".

I'm excited Lucy enjoyed it so much and now it makes me really excited for Disneyland. If she was that entertained at the parade she will love Disneyland as much as I do (let's hope!)

On Sunday we saw the Easter bunny. He was a tad creepster and maybe that's one of my traditions I can let slide. Blake is creeped out by mall holiday icons but I insisted she see the bunny. No other kids were around and the bunny, unlike Santa, cannot talk. So we just kind of all looked at him and Lucy got her photo op and we scooted on out. She didn't mind him but she doesn't mind most anyone! I know the real Easter bunny is soft, brown, cuddly and small so maybe in the future we'll leave the mall bunnies alone like everyone else seems to be doing.

at this point I think Lucy saw the look on our faces and decided she was dunzo

Cousin friends!

My cousin Alisa had her darling baby boy Crosby a couple of weeks ago. Alisa and I have been really close since we were young and I love that we still talk and hang out as often as possible. Lucy has no cousins yet and there have been no babies on either side of our family since she's been born (and no signs of any to come). So we're super excited Mr. Crosby has arrived and now we have a family play date mate! On Sunday we visited with Alisa, her husband D and sleepy Crosby. Lucy was somewhat interested in her new friend but by this summer I think they'll be a tight duo.

cute Crosby with the most perfect lips

cousins

Back from the end of the Earth

My brother Coleman arrived home from his 3 month excursion to Argentina/Chile on Saturday. He was there leading hiking tours and we're happy to have him safely home. Hopefully he'll stick around here for a little while now!

Coleman brought Lucy back this Alpaca wool sweater. It is the softest, cutest thing ever and the bug loves to snuggle in it.

Count down...

Um, yeah. I'm just a little excited for Disneyland! Just 26 more Mickey heads to pull off until we go!

Woo hoo! I'm thirty!

Yesterday was the big day. I turned thirty and I was kind of dreading it. Actually, I had no intentions of blogging about it but it turned into such a good day I had to! I went to work yesterday to find my entire desk area decked out in "Oh no the big 3-0" streamers, confetti, musical computer toppers and then a nice big fat chocolate cake! Thanks friends.

I picked Lucy up and we had a nice relaxing afternoon and took a mini siesta - usually I'm against me taking naps during the day but since I'm old I guess it now will become part of the routine. That night we met my family for dinner at Z'Tejas and had a good meal with the "perfect child" Lucy. Honestly, I'm holding my breath because one day I know she'll have a major restaurant freak out.



We went back to my parents and I got tickets from Cait to see Annie next month (yay!). A darling, springy apron and purse, my necklace I've been begging for and some other fun things from my mom and dad. Then Blake pulled out a blue Tiffany box (I've been complaining since Christmas that Lucy has Tiffany and I don't). He got me a super cute link bracelet with a C charm. It was a grand birthday but then Blake made my dreams come true. He handed me a paper and on it was our trip itinerary for DISNEYLAND!!!!! I have never been so surprised and excited. I love Dis with all of my heart. I love the ocean and I love California! And now in less than a month the three of us are flying out for a 4-day trip of pool lounging, ocean experiencing, Main Street USA sweet smells and the wonderful Mouse! This was truly such a dream of mine. I know Lucy is so young and won't remember anything. I know that this trip will not be a marathon trip with non-stop rides. But this is the trip we need after a year of extremes highs and lows. To just enjoy the park on a laid back scale and just spend time with each other. To live in the moment and see Lucy's excitement even if she forgets the next day. Blake is a great husband and I am so lucky that he planned this for us.





So be prepared for Disney countdown - I can hardly wait!!! (29 days...)

We need our shades!

In my previous post I noted Lucy's sensitive sun eyes and how most of my family always needs our shades. I stole this picture off of my cousin's cool slideshow (thanks Haylie) to prove our sunglass needs. This was my dad and me and I guess I was probably 3 or 4.

And the bug girl with grandpa and shades. I'm feeling sad for my dad's hair.

11 Months!

11 months baby girl! This is our last month of the first year - it's amazing how fast the time flies. Lucy is such a joy to all of us and she is getting to a stage (I say this during each stage) that is so fun to watch and be involved with. Last night she officially said da-da; now I don't think she gets that name means dad/Blake but she said it and he (da-da) was pretty pumped. So far she is saying, baby, ga-ga (my mom, grandma) and da-da. I know she's saving ma-ma for a day I really need to hear it!

Lucy is doing great on her sitting, rolling, close to crawling and better about wanting to stand. Her physical therapist said she's right on track for her preemie/adjusted age and she's really happy with her progress. This week her new thing is a tongue obsession. She's figured hers out and it's out all of the time. She thinks mine is funny and wants to grab it but she laughs harder if I hurry and put it back in my mouth. Who knew that these games would be the best part of my day?!

We're very excited about Spring around here (I'm almost giddy about daylight savings this Sunday). Lucy's already been on walks with my mom (ga-ga) and has seen her squirrel from last fall. She loves the breeze on her face but still needs to get used to the sun or get used to wearing her cool sunglasses. My dad, my siblings, Blake and me are true sunglass worshippers. The tiniest hint of daylight causes our eyes to water and we can't be without our shades. I can tell this will be true for Lucy too but right now she just wants to bury her face into me - my little vampire baby!

Lucy is such a smart girl and her cute little trick lately is reading out loud. She turns the pages of her books and babbles like she's reading out loud. I'm so happy this girl loves books as much as I do. I could spend all afternoon in a pile of books with her and she never tires of listening, looking and turning pages.



We've had a healthy winter so far (knock on wood) and Dr. Fox is happy with everything the bug girl is doing. We have 2 more shots of Synagis this season and I truly believe that has helped Lucy stay well. We hunkered down this winter but not nearly as much as I thought we would and she's done fine. We're still OCD about us and others constantly washing our hands and using Purell but shouldn't everyone be a little OCD about germs??!!




Happy 11 months baby bug. Less than a month until your big birthday - I already feel a cry-fest coming on! Love you princess, forever.