It's here...

hAlLoWEen NiGhT!

Since I've been out of commission here are some pics from our October events...

Lucy's first pony ride

she picked the tiniest pony - but still wasn't too sure

Gardner village photo ops are the best - if you can fight off the other parents

Pumpkin Patch with grandma & grandpa

daddy ~ daughter party: our cute neighbors had a halloween party for all of the kiddos.  I was so looking forward to going but not being able to walk or stand kind of prevented me.  So Blake was a good dad and they went together.  I cried as I watched them out the window - in their cute fall colors - it was Lucy's first friend party!  They had so much fun.

with her cute pumpkin tattoo 

her pumpkin she made at the party

Have a spooky night - happy halloween!

Demerol, oxycodone sprinkled in and a dash of muscle relaxer!

I'm loved!

from my cute friends at work - LOVE the spider!

Cait & B brought these cool "goth" flowers the other night - I wish it was halloween theme all year!

from VanCott - my work is so good to me and I only seem to pop in a little bit each week

So maybe it's the narcotics but I'm feeling pretty good.  Yesterday the queen of the basket cases was admitted for surgery at 5:30 am.  I cried, shook uncontrollably and wanted to escape.  I obviously don't handle stuff like this very well.  But today I can walk!!  I literally could not walk more than a few steps crunched over without writhing in pain before this surgery (the past two weeks).  The surgeon said the herniated disc was very bad and I still might have some permanent nerve damage.  Pretty much I might not get full strength back and occasionally might experience numbness or lower back pain.  Nothing compared to what I was feeling but I just hope that through some exercise and learning to lift and bend the correct way that I will make a full recovery.  I had a bunch of lovelies visit me yesterday and see my scary pre-halloween face.  Luckily Blake was in charge of packing supplies and he didn't include the camera.  Thanks again to all of my family and friends for your love, support and prayers.  I may sound over reacting and this pales in comparison to what some people we know are currently going through but it was really scary to not be able to walk or do anything.  I really have to ease back into things and take it easy so I won't be back to work for awhile and I might have to again ask for help from friends and family before I can drive (probably a week) and fully take care of Lucy (maybe two weeks).  But to have that pain gone and be up (very wobbly) a few hours of surgery and to stand up straight brought tears of joy to my eyes.  Thank you neurosurgeons - you deserve to make the big bucks!

the road to recovery...hopefully

Tomorrow I go in for surgery for my back/herniated disc.  I'm nervous but more eager to have an end put to this horrendous pain.  Last week Blake took care of Luce and me and he did a great job.  This week my mom is yet again saving us and taking care of Lucy.  I miss Lucy but I know she's having fun with   her most favorite (next to Blake and me) person.   I don't have my surgery time yet, I'll get it this afternoon but I hope it's early and I hope it goes well.  I only have to stay over one night and hopefully I'll still be able to enjoy Halloween!  The relief can't come soon enough.  I feel bad that I've been a downer these past two weeks - especially for Lucy - but things will turn around soon.  Luckily I have the best husband and parents ever who are taking care of things and ensuring Lucy has a proper Halloween-y week.  You know it is my favorite holiday.  A couple weeks ago we did get to enjoy some fall treats so hopefully if I feel up to it I can post some pics later today.  Thanks to those of you who have wished me well, it's really helped this week.

protruding disc

So my MRI on Thursday shows that I have an extremely protruding disc in my lower back.  I'm on steroids and super strong pain killers - and I'm still usually crying in pain.  I can't walk very far and if I do it's bent over at the waist.  Not so cute and kind of scary for Lucy to see.  I'm supposed to see a neurosurgeon next week (hopefully EARLY next week) and they will decide if surgery is necessary and go from there.  I have no medical knowledge but considering this pain and not being able to drive, walk more than 10 feet at a time and take care of my baby, I'm expecting surgery.  I almost welcome it.  Anyway, some of you have been wondering what's the latest news was so that's why I posted.  Blake arranged some semi-comfortable seating for me to get on the computer for awhile and it's nice to be in another room.

Again, it could be much worse and I  know this will be dealt with soon.  It's just hard not to get down, especially when I feel like I can't do anything for anyone, especially Luce.  But Blake is teaching her lots of new tricks and they're having fun.  One perk is that Lucy has never really called me (mom, mama, mommy) and some people have said it's because I'm always right there by her.  But since I've spent so much time away in my room she yells for me and calls my name whenever she sees me, oh I love that girl.  Blake has been great too, I'd never have this type of patience.

Okay, ENOUGH woe is me.  It's not the end of the world and hopefully we'll soon see the dr and have more news.  Enjoy this beautiful fall weather - these days are the best of the year!

A rain-check on San Diego

For about a month I've been dreaming of this day.  About now I figured we'd be at the beach or lounging pool side in San Diego.  But the dreaded leg/back pain I experienced in the Spring never fully went away and in the past few days came back with a vengeance.  I never thought it would be bad enough to cancel our trip and be on the phone crying to the Humphrey's reservations manager thanking her for not charging us for canceling before 48 hours of arrival.  But this damn pain ruined our trip and Lucy's plan to be kissing Elmo tomorrow.  But, as I continually try to remind myself, it could always be worse.  Even though my trip is postponed, I can't stand upright, and typing this post will probably send me over the edge in pain, it really could be so much worse.  

So tomorrow an MRI is scheduled at the hospital and I hope relief is in sight.  Till then Shamu, and the city I oh so love.  

70 more shopping days...

That's right - you only have about 70 more shopping days until Christmas! Maybe this season with all of the financial and economic drama people will try to focus a little more on the important things like snuggling with loved ones and enjoying the twinkling lights on trees. I'll be sure to try and focus on the important things but I also am the first to admit that I love to get caught up in the shopping, decorating, party, wrapping frenzy! Today marked the beginning of the season. Around six am I was online looking for THE must-have for Christmas. I found it, had a calm feeling and thought "I'll have Blake get it online - I have to go to work". Well two hours later I had clammy hands, shallow breathing as I checked site after site online seeing "out of stock", "no longer available", "SOLD OUT". I couldn't believe I didn't jump on this early in the morning when I had a chance. I envisioned ebay bids three times the amount and numerous calls to stores leading up to Christmas on shipment days. So I called to whine to my mom and an hour later she found it! In person at the actual store. So now I have one gift done and I (and even my mom) didn't have to fight anyone for it! Season's Greetings!!

Don't tell Luce!

(thanks again mom!)

October sun & fun!

Today we both were feeling better from our colds so we were able to keep our important play-date with friends, lunches and a beautiful day at the park.  Annie and Elliott are two of our favorite friends.  Each time we get together they seem a little closer in age than in size from the time before.  Lucy's not yet up to Elliott's speed and independence but they both love snacking on cookies and watching other little kids.  Annie is such a great friend and whenever we hang out we can just pick up from our last quarterly date!  Thanks A & E for such a fun day in the sun!!

silly girl

Lucy showing a bit of her own independence

such good kiddos - and they both love Yo Gabba Gabba (if you have to ask what this is you just might not be cool enough - Go DJ Lance!)

cold season

So the crisp change in the weather has been so wonderful but unfortunately that also meant Lucy and I caught a yucky cold bug.  We're on the tail end of it but oh, to see this little girl sick breaks my heart.  She smiled through the snot and tried to be her happy little self when I know she felt miserable.  Time for kleenex, Costco-sized Purell and orange juice (or "chuce" as Lucy calls it).  Last winter we were lucky and Lucy got only one little cold - but she was also receiving monthly Synagis shots to help prevent RSV.  This year since she's doing so well she probably won't qualify for Synagis so it will be up to us to be a little more protective and cautious.  We may have to limit our outings and stay away from sick friends & family.  Here's to a healthy fall/winter season to everyone!

little red-nosed - the snort face has helped teach Luce to blow her nose

oh and Lucy is OBSESSED with brushing her teeth - but she also wants to brush Suki & Wedge's teeth so we have to keep an eye on where that brush goes - bleh!